necromommycon: painted portrait of lady in pink gown (Default)
[personal profile] necromommycon
I know: anything that comes after that sentence is my own damn fault.

But I'm glad I'm reading it, because book two appears to be the point where I start finding the series hilarious. (I have had an ear infection and a fever for three days now. That's...probably not a non sequitor.)

Having run out of plot (Book one: boy meets girl, boy beats girl, girl runs screaming into the night), E L James has resorted to having this volume be The Book of Ana Gets Stuff. Ana's reaction to this is exactly the same as her reaction to everything else: a stream of "oh my" and "oh crap."

I'm having coffee with Christian Grey? Oh crap.
A BSDM dungeon? Oh my.
Your mother was a crack whore? Oh crap.
An iPad? Oh my.

And so on and so forth.

Speaking of that crack whore thing--apologies if that was a spoiler--that brings me to THE BEST PART EVER. Okay, I really should spoiler cut this, since it's the only truly startling moment to date: If you had already broken up with someone once because of his freakish inability to be touched affectionately or to do the whole boyfriend thing, plus because his intense BDSMality was unnerving, wouldn't it be a bit alarming to find out HE HAD THE EXACT SAME BACKSTORY AS DEXTER?

Okay, so maybe not the EXACT same. Dexter's mum was murdered and I don't remember how long he spent with the corpse, whereas Edward's mother killed *herself* and he spent precisely four days alone with her before anyone discovered them. But it would still make my list of Warning Signs, you know?

Why doesn't ANA know this is a Bad Thing? My guesses are 1) Dexter doesn't exist in the Fifty Shades universe or else 2) Edward IS that universe's Dexter so the plot requires her not to react. I dunno. I'll keep you posted.

So. Someone needs to write crossover fic. Not me, I have an ear infection and I'm lazy.
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necromommycon: painted portrait of lady in pink gown (Default)
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